I have been wanting to write for quite sometime now, but I can't seem to pinpoint one topic to write about. In all honesty, I write best when I am emotionally stimulated, but lately I've been feeling carefree and rested. I don't know if school has gotten a wee bit easier now that I'm used to it, or it's me that's changed my perspective. I suddenly find myself doing everything I need to do and more in just the right amount of time. I say this because the old me would have been, "Oh no, I'll never finish in time," or "Screw this, I'm tired," and get nothing, if not a few things, done. Like yesterday, I woke up at about 4 in the morning to start on my papers because I fell asleep way too early the night before. I finished half an hour before I have to leave and I thought, "Should I even prepare a handout for my patient?" I don't know why I didn't give it much thought, but I automatically made one anyway. It was only lately that I realized that I NEVER would have bothered to make one if I was the old me. But something in me just involuntarily opened up the word document and started drafting a handout. And I was very thankful I didn't stop myself from making it, because it pleased my patient so that I made a handout especially for him. He smiled when he saw his name across the front page, and I could see that he really appreciated my efforts to help him get better. Not only did my handout facilitate my teaching, I was also secure in knowing that he will never forget what I taught him because he gets to keep the handout for himself to take home.
But, I will not take all the credit for this one.
I truly believe that God has blessed me with the drive to finish everything I need to do and more. Just the other day in church, I heard that if you do everything for God's glory, He will bless you and you will do great. I'm paraphrasing of course, but that's basically the gist. And I can stand testament to that. I will admit I did not really believe in it until it has happened for me. Not only am I blessed with the drive to work and study, but also I feel that everything is falling into place for me. I noticed how easier I have it with my patient, how much I enjoy what I'm doing despite the exhaustion. I no longer feel the need to compare myself to others, just to establish an identity. I noticed the change in me since I started to do everything to the best of my abilities and leave everything else to God. I feel happier, more energetic and more inspired to work for God, for His honor and glory.
A few years ago, I would not be caught dead blogging about how God has changed my life, but now I simply cannot let the opportunity pass to let people know how awesome God is. He has blessed me with so much and is still continuously making me prosperous in whatever I do. When you do things for yourself and other people, you can only achieve so much, sometimes even none. And you get disappointed by the results and start blaming others, or worse, yourself. I've been through this and honestly, it did not make me happy. It depressed me how uninspired I was and how little I could achieve on my own. But when you start to do things for God, the disappointment that you didn't do it or can't do it is much less because you know there's something better coming along for you. That is if you can't do it. More often that not, when you do things for God, you can do everything your mind is able to conceive. And so much more. :)
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